Sunday 3 April 2011

my nightmare...

Everybody has nightmares right...?? Not always...but sometimes....
I have one that has been haunting me since last 3 years...yeah I know...that long.....
Even when I am dreaming about a nice thing like lets say cupcakes or vineyards or Matt Damon...this image that I have in my mind about my nightmare, just comes in the nice dream for like a second and then goes away...but it always comes....and sometimes the entire dream is about the image-which makes it into a nightmare.....
I am talking about the Zodiac Serial Killer. He operated in North California,USA, in the late 1960's and early 1970's. 
A movie was made on a book written about him. The movie's name is Zodiac. And since the time I have seen this film, I can't stop thinking of what would happen if I someday run into the ZODIAC!!!!
It scares the shit out of me! As amazingly stupid as I am, I went online and searched as much as I could about this man after seeing the film.....It didn't  scare me then, it's just, later, that he just got fixed in my mind....and started haunting me!
I usually dream about 2 of his murders that I call my "favourites" ....
1.Modesto attack
On the night of March 22, 1970, Kathleen Johns was driving from San Bernardino to Petaluma to visit her mother. She was seven months pregnant and had her 10-month-old daughter beside her.While heading west on Highway 132 near Modesto, a car behind her began honking and flashing its lights. She pulled off the road and stopped. The man in the car parked behind her and stated that her right rear tire was wobbling, and offered to tighten the lugs. After finishing his work, the man drove off; yet when Johns pulled forward to reenter the highway the wheel almost immediately came off of the car. The man returned, offering to drive her to the nearest gas station for help. She and her daughter climbed into his car. During the ride the car passed several service stations but the man did not stop. For about 90 minutes he drove back and forth around the backroads near Tracy. When Johns asked why he was not stopping, he would change the subject. When the driver finally stopped at an intersection, the man told Johns that he was going to kill her and then throw the baby out after her.Johns jumped out with her daughter and hid in a field. The driver then closed the car door and drove off. Johns hitched a ride to the police station in Patterson.

When you see this scene in the movie, you will literally be shaking inside your blanket....that's how I was....
2.Lake Herman Road attackThe first murders widely attributed to the Zodiac Killer were the shootings of high school students Betty Lou Jensen and David Faraday on December 20, 1968, on Lake Herman Road, just inside Benecia city limits.
The couple was on their first date and planned to attend a Christmas concert at Hogan High about three blocks from Jensen's home. The couple, instead, visited a friend before stopping at a local restaurant, and then driving out on Lake Herman Road. At about 10:15 p.m., Faraday parked his mother's Rambler in a gravel turnout, which was a well-known lover's lane.
Shortly after 11:00 p.m., their bodies were found by Stella Borges, who lived nearby. The Solano County Sheriff's Department investigated the crime but no leads developed.
Utilizing available forensic data, Robert Graysmith postulated that another car pulled into the turnout, just prior to 11:00 and parked beside the couple. The killer apparently exited the second car and walked toward the Rambler, possibly ordering the couple out of the Rambler. Jensen appeared to have exited the car first, yet when Faraday was halfway out, the killer apparently shot Faraday in the head. Fleeing from the killer, Jensen was gunned down twenty-eight feet from the car with five shots through her back. The killer then drove off.
These 2 incidents haunt me a lot.....
The image that I was earlier talking about is the image of the zodiac that I saw on the internet....I at times imagine myself as the above mentioned victims....and it's those scenes that I play in my mind that scare me...!!!
Deep huh?? 
anyway...thought I'd mention him 'cause it's been haunting me again since last few days..!..haha...
ciao! and sleepwell!!!




5 comments:

  1. Oh.... Shagun... my sweetest baby....
    If I was right there, right now... I'd give you a big, tight, bear-hug and tell you there's NOTHING... NOTHING.. to worry...or be scared... about. Even 'nightmares'... are 'dreams'... just - BAD...ones!!
    And, do you know where 'dreams' - during sleep - come from?
    ONLY TWO PLACES. Our 'hidden' - desires... or FEARS.
    That is, the things we NEVER 'CONSCIOUSLY' TALK, DISCUSS OR 'THINK' ABOUT IN OUR 'WAKING' STATE! Because the 'intelligent' - logical - brain - 'MIND' can - easily - push it to one side - 'TELLING' us - 'Don't be silly'!!

    'Thoughts' - Shagun - never, ever just 'disappear' or 'go away'.... If you don't 'get them OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM'.. they just get 'STORED' in a DIFFERENT department or compartment of the brain!! - And when, during 'sleep' the 'conscious' mind - RELAXES - when the 'guards' are DOWN - the 'SUB-CONSCIOUS' brings up the 'hidden' or 'ignored'... 'thoughts' - in the form of dreams..or the so-called 'nightmares'!!
    ...

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  2. I think I have.. seen the movie.. ZODIAC... but it was quite a while back! Btw, I'm all for the detective, murder-mysteries, X-files, psychological thrillers kinda movies... BECAUSE.. it's interesting to see.. "HOW".. things get 'solved'! I was/am avid 'Agatha Christie' and 'Sherlock Holmes' reader/ "fan"!!

    At the BASE...of your nightmare/ fear...is just ONE thing, baby... INSECURITY. Understand it. Accept it. Mull over it - with the CONSCIOUS MIND and the so-called 'nightmare' WILL.. DISAPPEAR. PROMISE.
    The "root"....of it could be - the impending or actual loss of your Mom. 3 years ago. The very 'first' scene - is about a 'mother and a baby', isn't it?
    And, then the 'fear' of 'relationships' - refer your 'post'..on 'life'... NOT wanting to talk about marriage, romance, boy-friends? How your Mom and Dad's - "Love-story" - was kinda left 'in-complete' (i.e. - 'murdered' by 'fate'..) Or, even... how you are 'scared' - your Dad and stepmom's 'fights' might have scarred you?...

    It has NOT... sweetheart, scarred you in anyway - let me assure you of that! - its just YOUR 'fear'...that it may have! And therefore, you think it may AFFECT... your OWN 'equation' with a guy/man!!
    So, if in the last 3 years you have not 'spoken' to anyone of your - EMOTIONAL - 'FEARS'.. LOSS of you MOM... and witnessing 'upsetting/ distressing' scenes at 'home'...its bound to play on your 'psyche'.

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  3. Dearest Shagun,

    Most important thing in life is to FACE YOUR 'FEARS' HEAD-ON! Because, do you know, all the 'scary' monsters... are nothing but the work of our OWN active 'imagination'/ thoughts!!

    As you've started with this 'post' of yours - you acknowledged it yourself - it's the 'images'!!
    Its, like a 'part' of you feels 'guilty'... yes, guilty' of the thought of some GOOD, HAPPY, JOYOUS or 'PLEASURABLE' moment ( - e.g. cupcakes, vineyards, Matt Damon..) and the sub-conscious 'mind' says... HOW CAN YOU FORGET YOUR MOM?... HOW CAN YOU BE 'HAPPY' - WITH HER NO LONGER IN YOUR LIFE? HAVE YOU 'FORGOTTEN' HER? ARE YOU GONNA 'FORGET' YOUR ...MOM????!! How could you, Shagun?!!

    So, the 'nightmare' IMAGE.. comes into the 'happy-scenario' to make you feel 'miserable' and 'unhappy' again - or to 'scare' you... to 'stop' you from 'REACHING-OUT' TO SOMETHING/ SOMEONE WHICH/ WHO MAKES YOU HAPPY - TODAY!!

    But, Shagun, you must know... that...no doubt, the pain, sorrow, sadness will remain.. of the FACT..of the MEMORY..of such a 'loss'... especially, when you have 'lived' THROUGH.. the 'suffering' - ALONG WITH - your Mom...and so..its also, 'PART' of you - in a way, forever - but you must ... RISE ABOVE IT!

    And, GIVE yourself.. the 'permission'... yes, 'allow'... yourself'.. to believe in the GOODNESS, HAPPINESS of what 'life' has to OFFER!

    'FACTS' of life do not change, no doubt...

    But, those 'facts' - mold you.. to become a 'stronger' person.. so that you may become - fearless and bold... and even MORE 'determined' to GO FOR THE 'HIGHER' GROUND' - 'HAPPIER' PLACE - than where you were - till yesterday!!

    And, do you know... the BEST WAY? - to be a 'success' and ENJOY it?... Offer it, as a 'tribute' to your Mom!!
    It'll only make you more 'eager' and 'enthusiastic' to 'achieve' more and more in life!... Go for the 'bigger' prize!!

    Take care.. sweetie-pie!! :)
    Have a lovely day!!

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  4. Are you a psychologist..because I think you are...I never thought that my nightmare had something to do with my mother...but now that you have put it that way...it's sort of put a question into my mind...
    anyway..i guess it's just a normal nightmare or dream whatever...but I never connected the dots that way....it's interesting though...
    anyway..thanks for the analysis of this...
    and seriously..are you a psychologist..??? haha...

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  5. Hahahaha... Shagun!!! :) No... I'm NOT a 'doctor'... or a 'psychologist'!! But yes, I've been a 'working' woman MOST of my life..after 'graduation'!
    As I'd said before, I'm now, probably, around the same age as your Mom...would've been... In other words, with 'TIME' (years) and work(-experience) you 'learn' a LOT.. about 'life' and 'people'!

    You see, once you'll start 'working'... you'll meet soooo many different people, hear sooo many 'life-stories', interact with all kinds of 'personalities'.. and yes, TRAVELLING... to different 'places'.. meeting different 'racial' groups and seeing 'life' from soooo many 'angles'... does tend to 'add-on' to one's 'knowledge' and 'understanding'... as one 'grows' - OLDER....
    And, as I'd said before -ITS GOOD TO TALK!! - Hahaha... because, now - today - you've got a 'new' perspective for looking at the 'SAME' thing from "MY"...point of view!! - We never claim to be Gods.. so, of course, this doesn't mean - CORRECT or TRUE... but sets you 'thinking' on a different 'tangent' doesn't it?.. I.e. it shows you how - it could be - converted to 'black and white' - and dealt with the 'conscious' mind... rather than 'trying' to push - uneasy - unhappy - 'thoughts'to the BACK of your mind!!

    Take it easy, young one!
    Its always good to 'talk' things through! :)

    Have a 'good' night tonight - and sweet(-er) dreams!! Haha..

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